MorMor texting
by falloutdreamer
Summary: Moriarty is back and he texts Seb. This shit really happened (thanks, Omegle users!).


**Jim:** Didja' miss me? –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** You bastard...

**Seb:** You bloody son of a bitch.

**Seb:** Yes, I did!

**Jim:** Oh, don't start tearing up now. Watch the telly. It's airing all over England. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** Oh, I see. Showing off...

**Jim:** Well, that is rather my modus operandi. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** Last time everyone was this 'excited' was the time when they realized Sherlock was not dead.

**Jim:** Wouldn't you agree that I made a bit more of a splash? –[Number Blocked]

**Jim:** They upset a few restaurants. I upset England. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** You upset me.

**Seb:** Why now? Why didn't you tell me before? Just a word?

**Jim:** You were being watched. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** You bastard, if you think it's enough...

**Seb:** Jesus Christ, you should have told me! You should have told me what you were going to do.

**Seb:** I've been waiting for something I didn't believe would ever happen.

**Stranger:** Don't. Don't even start. If I had told you and you dropped the act for even a moment, everything would have crashed, even more than it already has. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** Oh, so you didn't trust me enough?

**Jim:** I'll explain everything later. –[Number Blocked]

**Jim:** I do have one favor, though. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** When is "later"?

**Jim:** Soon. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** And what a favor?

**Seb:** If your "soon" turns out to be next 2 years, I will skin you.

**Jim:** Try not to punch me when you see me. You tend to get aggressive when surprised. –[Number Blocked]

**Jim:** Or skin me. I'd prefer we avoid that. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** I will see what I can do.

**Seb:** Maybe just tell me now? Now, when I can't hurt you.

**Jim:** I've been gone for two years. You thought I was dead. You'd rather have the heartwarming reunion via text? –[Number Blocked]

**Jim:** I knew you were an odd one. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** For God's sake, Jim fucking Moriarty! I can't decide whether I wanna kiss you or kill you.

**Jim:** The way you're talking, probably leans more toward kill. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** Yeah, but that would be such a... loss.

**Jim:** I know a few that would disagree. I suspect they're turning around a certain plane by now. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** Ugh, Sherlock Holmes. can't we all finally get rid of that man?

**Jim:** Oh, you heard about that, then? Nasty, nasty business. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** So what are we up to now?

**Jim:** Reestablishing myself, primarily. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** How? And what's my job? I guess you are not texting me just to say 'hello'.

**Jim:** That's the fun bit. Ready to change from espresso shots to gun shots? –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** Thought you'd never ask!When do I start?

**Jim:** Finish your shift and head to that hovel you call a flat. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** Ok, but why do you want me to get there?

**Jim:** I don't very well have anywhere to stay, now do I? –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** Oooh, that is something new.

**Jim:** Not a word. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** No, I am definitely not laughing at you, boss.

**Jim:** Smart tiger. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** Anyway, you are always welcome here. My house is your house, my bed is your bed or something like that.

**Jim:** Damn straight, your bed is my bed. I'd hope you wouldn't kick me to the sofa. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** I believe that if I tried to, I would be kicked out of my own window, wouldn't I?

**Jim:** Possibly. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** Yeah. Nice to have you alive again, Jim. I missed you.

**Jim:** You too, Tiger. –[Number Blocked]

**Jim:** See you tonight. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** See you, Jim. Put on a nice pyjamas.

**Jim:** Your shirt works just fine. –[Number Blocked]

**Jim:** And your locks are ridiculously easy to pick. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** Did you just...?Jesus Christ, no, you didn't! Jim!

**Jim:** Just? No. About fifteen minutes after you let for your shift this morning. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** You bastard! I hope you're not sitting on my sofa with your bloody expensive shoes on my coffee table?

**Jim:** Your coffee table looks like something you picked up from a garage sale. –[Number Blocked]

**Jim:** And no, I'm in your bed, naked, except for your shirt. –[Number Blocked]

**Jim:** That dark blue one that is missing the sleeves. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** Better hide my shotguns before I come home.

**Seb:** I am not sure how I feel about it. Where do you get that from? I mean all your ideas.

**Jim:** Does it matter? Does it /really/ matter? –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** No, not at all.I am just curious what it's like in your bloody brain.

**Jim:** You've been trying to figure that out for years. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** And I hope now I have plenty of time to still try.

**Jim:** Sweet. Sickeningly sweet. –[Number Blocked]

**Jim:** Which reminds me, I finished your chocolate bar. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** Great. Now you are going to get me a new give me something same sweet instead.

**Jim:** We'll see. –[Number Blocked]

**Jim:** Might be gone when you get here. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** If I don't see you when I get here, I will burn the city down.

**Jim:** No, you won't. I know you wouldn't. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** For you? I think I would. We both now I would.

**Jim:** Mmmm, that's my Tiger. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** I guess you missed me?

**Jim:** Your pillows are too lumpy. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** Am I supposed to say I'm sorry?

**Jim:** Only if you are. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** You are admit you missed me half as much as I did miss you.

**Jim:** Now why would I do that? –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** Because that's the fact. And I wanna hear that.

**Jim:** Via text? So uncultured. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb: **I did my waiting. 2 years, Jim, 2 years!

**Jim:** And a few more hours won't hurt you. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** Are you sure? How do you know?

**Jim:** I just do. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** You know everything, woohoo. Ok, so maybe tell me what you have been doing all the time when you've been away?

**Jim:** When you get here, I promise. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** I am almost there.

**Jim:** I hope you didn't just leave that cafe midshift. –[Number Blocked]

**Stranger:** Unprofessional. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** And what if I did?

**Jim:** What, oh what, would your new employer think of you leaving your previous job without so much as a good bye? –[Number Blocked]

**Jim:** He might decide to lock you out of your bedroom. –[Number Blocked]

**Jim:** Escape through the window. –[Number Blocked]

**Jim:** Show back up in another two years. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** You fucking didn't just say that.

**Jim:** I did. –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** Yo make me wanna shoot everyone I am seeing is the game you're playing?

**Jim:** How fast can you get home, Tiger?

**Jim:** Faster than the time it takes me to pick the lock on your window? –[Number Blocked]

**Seb:** I can get there right fucking now. HONEY, I'M HOME.

Jim chuckled, having not moved from his spot in the middle of the bed. True to his word, he was laying there, quite comfortable, in Sebastian's shirt. His phone rested comfortably on his leg as he skimmed a book he had picked up earlier that day. Jim had changed, gained muscle, but look utterly ragged from two years on the run. He looked up as he heard the door burst open and let his lips curl upward in a smile.

**Seb:** Oh, there you are, Jimmy. So, where do we start? Oh yes. Tell me how and why you did that. Faking your own death & all. And then you can also tell me how fucking much you missed me and how much you are sorry about the mess you made.


End file.
